I recently watched a TikTok of Jordan Theresa’s about online shopping. I have only recently redownloaded TikTok, and since getting the app back on my phone, I only really use it for the occasional doom scroll (if reels are boring me). However, this video reminded me of one reason I use social and digital media so often: creators make excellent content. This video was no exception.
The video surrounded a conversation that Jordan Theresa had with her own therapist about her relationship with online shopping. She mused over the fact that, like many others, when stressed her first instinct is to shop. And she asked whether this is something many of his other clients speak about, and their reply is what sparked the whole idea for this post.
The therapist replied that online shopping is like getting a present.
If you’re into fashion, or haven’t been living under a rock you’ll know that overconsumption and accessibility of fashion are major issues. How easily and quickly we can buy and receive clothes feeds directly into trend cycles, fuelled by fast fashion. The usual train of thought surrounding shopping addictions and compulsive shopping surround these two themes. A discussion about how easily we can buy clothes, how many options there are readily available for us. But that’s not what this therapist was referring to.
Instead, he spoke about how online shopping is similar to receiving presents. It gets delivered by someone else directly to your door (or local post office), is wrapped in packaging, and if you shop a lot you may even forget what you’ve ordered. I know I’m guilty of this. And this really got me thinking about our relationships with online shopping and how they are linked to our psyches, something deeper than just the accessibility of it all.
If we dissect the sequence of events, we can explore this more deeply. I want to preface this by saying I am by no means a therapist or psychologist, and these points are formed through my own experiences and research.
While mindlessly, half-distractedly scrolling on social media or online shopping websites, you order something. Maybe you’ve had a stressful day at work, and you deserve a treat. Using apple/google pay you maybe don’t even register it as “spending money”, perhaps you have money in your vinted account so it feels “free”. You don’t have the same exchange of goods as you would in a shop, there’s no interaction there between shopper and staff.
And then…nothing. You wait until it arrives. By the time it gets to your house, the stress you were soothing through the purchase is most likely gone. And maybe even you’ve forgotten what you ordered in the first place. The gap between the want and the having shifts the meaning of the purchase – turning the item into an event rather than a transaction. There’s research backing this up – the emotional payoff seems to live in the arrival, not the purchase. Not only this, there is a level of unpredictability at this point – you can never be sure of the exact fit, feel or look of the item. The ambiguity amplifies the dopamine response. To find out, you then open up the parcel, unwrapping it as you would a present -echoing that feeling of when you open a gift from friends or family.
I think this lens on online shopping and its psychological effects is really interesting. The conversation so often centres around the accessibility of online shopping, but it’s worth paying attention to the emotional reasoning behind these habits – especially as someone trying to be more intentional with what I buy. Because, I’ve been there. I’ve had parcels delivered and no memory of what they are or when I ordered it, that thrill isn’t lost on me.
I’ll close this off with something all of us can try moving forwards, next time you reach for the shopping apps, ask yourself what you’re actually waiting for – the item or the moment of opening it?
Thanks for reading!
Sources:
@jordanatheresa on TikTok
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/retail-therapy-shopping-compulsion
Wardrobe Diaries 